[Sidebar] Chatbots = Avoidance = Anxiety

Not a full newsletter, but a bite-sized thought since everywhere I turn people are talking about some combo of tech + kids + mental health + AI...

While there are many perspectives on the causes of anxiety, a fear of discomfort consistently shows up as a key component. Chatbots enable avoidance of discomfort at precisely the time that kids developmentally need to confront and learn to navigate scenarios that are… well… uncomfortable.

In our recent interview, Amanda Lenhart said that “... [generative AI] is perfectly designed for that moment of deep embarrassment and importance of peers and the sense that you’re being watched by everyone. That’s the hallmark of early adolescence in particular…”

YES. And avoiding these feelings is something that kids (and frankly many grown ass adults…) want, and chatbots enable. Is that so bad?

I am certain there are people who will disagree with me, but here’s why I think it’s catastrophic for children:

Let’s pause for a moment and imagine a young child whose first intimate relationship is with an AI chatbot that is tailored to their every desire: in terms of personality, opinion, behavior, and even physically. This means that the person with whom they form their first intimate, non-familial bond is a fake person whom they have personally designed to be everything they want, and is literally programmed to praise and serve them night and day. They do not need to compromise, or think about what they are saying, or how they are saying it. They do not need any self-awareness or empathy. They do not need to figure out how to navigate an uncomfortable situation, or learn to navigate conflict, or even adapt to an environment they might not like. They do not need to grapple with difficult truths about themselves, and are never forced to confront annoying habits, unhealthy behaviors, or uninformed opinions. They get to have exactly what they want without giving or changing a thing about themselves. They get the illusion of intimacy, without any of the work, complexity, or discomfort.

The relationship between this level of avoidance and mental health is not hard to see.

The existence of products like this is not inevitable — it is a choice. A choice by companies, a choice by investors, a choice by consumers, and a choice by governments. It is also a choice for them to be integrated into products that we *already use,* and it is a choice for them to be targeted at children.

We can make different choices. Consumers might have less of a choice because companies (ahem, monopolies) are jamming them into products with no discernible opt out, but you know who DOES have a choice? Companies. Investors. Elected officials. Instead, we have a mad rush to monetize people’s anger and loneliness, and federal policies that enable the rapid adoption of weapons of mass delusion, rolling out the red carpet for new products that completely eliminate the boundary between fantasy and reality… all while paying lip service to “child safety” online.

This is a remix from my first newsletter.